Unlogical Logic

Actually ,
there are so many things i could write about .
But i kind of never get to it. In every situation of my life i try to see something more deep than the thing itself.
Maybe this confuses some people because they can´t follow me .
Today it´s cold. I am sitting in the living room and outside the window on the busy road in front of my house it´s snowing.
This year is the most interesting nicest hardest and craziest year of my life.
Since this summer my life changed so much that i can´t even say it was my life before.
I was in a Camp ( was really hard for me to get in there) so i really enjoyed it.
Met new people . Some i really could talk my heart out with and can even today.
I went to the lovely Midrasha in Berlin where i really love going .
And all that .
Started seeing the life in another perspective. Started praying with meaning.
My life seems so fullfilled and I want to be thankfull for it , but sometimes i just want to get out.
Go to a place without hectic , without noise and just want to leave all this logic here.
You have to do it this way you have to do it that way.
Sometimes i just want to shout : I don´t have to , I am my own personality and i can do it like i want .
But you always have to fit .
Logic is the most stupid thing that people ever invented .
Today I read the Teddy . Which my lovely friend Sophie gave to me in Berlin .
And I just felt like i want to go into it and give him  a hug and talk to him say him that i think the exact way.
Did anybody  ever tell that grass is green ?
It´s just a name . It maybe could be pink.
Leave it , get it out from ur head. The logic itself is the most unlogial thing.
And sometimes i really think noone can understand what i am saying.
The best thing in life is to have the opportunity to be yourself.
And i really hope that one day i will maybe find someone who i can tell everything I really think of and I won´t worry about what he or she is thinking of me.
Because maybe i am just less logical than the world around me.