I am not blogging that much lately , and I have the talent of finding the moments I have the less time :D
I am sitting here now , it´s Shabbes soon and I still have to tidy up and shower .
Greats are bad and mummy´s mad.
That´s the situation.
My Granny has serious health issues and is not feeling well and I am very worried.
Mum is flying to Lithuania on Sunday and I am staying by myself.
My lovely Sophie ex. Gorelashvili now Kaufman formed the cutest couple with her lovely husband..
More on that l8ter.
What I discovered lately and want to write my post about is:
Did u ever noticed all songs are about love ?
Oh there´s a boy and he doesn´t like me oohhh
I mean is love really the only important thing in life?
SUre we all wanna find the perfect Prince to love and beloved.
To marry and be happy .
BUt there are things that can make u not less happy and also sad.
Friends , Health , People just being kind to you, presents , money , travelling , animals , little children and soo many other stuff.
I kind of lost my happiness , compared to the mood I had 2 month ago I am kind of transforming to an EMo.
It´s just like it´s to much for me.
I guess I didn´t know how bad the world really was for 16 years.
ANd I wish that there was soemeone who had told me that earlier.
Because it´s like I fell into a pool of lies and madness and I have the feeling of drowning .
I talk and talk to people . But I still don´t get the feeling of being understood.
ANd as my mum told me to go to the Psychologist lately ( like kinda joke ) my first thought was :
Mmmh good idea , at least I would´ve someone to talk to.
That´s why I wish that I was 10 years older and had a real friend , my husband to listen to me and tell me he´d be there for me forever and support in anything .
Because I can´t carry this by myself.
I tried sleeping a night about my mood , and I tried sleeping two nights .
Maybe there was one day I smelled the smell of happiness but the day after smelled like dead again.
And it just feels like existing , not like living to me.
And I want to live.
I am drowning.
I am drowning.
This is really not fair. I listen to you. I hear what are you feeling behind the words. I tried to help you. YOu know honey. I was there when you wanted to talk to someone. And even if noone would be there . If noone would satnd behind you I would. Sometimes I couldn´t said what I reallyfeeled and undersatnd. But it dosn´t mean that I am not listening or that I am not undersatnding you inside. In so many situation we are thinking the same and dealing same with problems. We are really identical in sooo many situation and in so many qualitis as well not in good ones. I always have been thinking that this is what Soulsisters are like. Honey, You disn´t mention my name one time.
AntwortenLöschenAnd I am really trying my best. Yeah I do.
don´t you see it ?<3 <3